i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
