so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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