would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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