5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
