I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
