Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
