I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
