this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
