The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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