i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
