I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
