I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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