grandma shit on top of the toilet
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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