I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Randomize
