Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
