Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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