We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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