anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
