You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
