He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
