margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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