I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
