on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
