As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
