8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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