i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
literally had 100 drinks last night.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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