we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
