Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
