were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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