She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
