Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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