Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize