me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
