I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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