we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
