Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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