I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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