you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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