he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
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Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
tell me about the eggs
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