Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
