Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
