FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
