is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Are we still banned from the library?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
