y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
