Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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