Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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