'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
