I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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