yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
