Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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