How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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