I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Where is the hickey?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
