to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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