He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We have started to decorate penises.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
