I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
