evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
