why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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