I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Life is so much better after having sex.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
