Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
