their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
