can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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