Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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