Already got asked if we're dating
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
