DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
