I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
